2nd insight

I sat in ICU waiting on my sweetie to come back from his stress test.  Listening to Josh Groban, tears flowing.  Dr. Desaloms and Cheryl come in to talk to me.  He is our neurosurgeon.  Our what?  This can't be happening.  He exuded such confidence and I was put at ease.  He assured me that Scott was going to come through surgery just fine.  This was Friday and he was going to wait until Monday to remove the tumor, keep him on steroids to help decrease swelling in his brain.  After visiting with me for a while, he said he had to go take another tumor out.  He said he does so many every day.  I knew we had the right surgeon.  After googling him, I discovered we had one of the best in the country.
I don't remember too much about each moment.  I do know because of the steriods, Scott had to pee every single hour, on the hour, without fail.  We were both exhausted.  This went on all day and all night, me helping him up and using the urinal.  Scott was moved right after stress test to a step down unit so I could stay in the room with him overnight.  I slept on absolutely the most uncomfortable fold out couch.  The second night, I had to pile pillows and lay on them to get any sleep.  Mom brought me a body pillow and that helped.  I wouldn't trade those days with my sweetie, he was so scared.  I had to call everyone but I'm sure the hardest is calling his mom.  There can't be anything like telling someone their baby has a brain tumor.  Please don't make me do that again.  She took it really well but I know how I would feel.  That was  a long weekend.  We had a visitation Sunday, Mom, the boys, Kathy and her crew.  Scott got tired and broke down a little when they were leaving.  I think it scared the boys, at least Dalton.  I took a picture of him sleeping on that last night of our pre-cancer lives.

Look, he even has hair.  The sweetest man in the world.  How can this happen to us?  What did we do?